When you grow up with no education around the concept of divinity, but you hear of a God mentioned in certain circles and language expressions, you make your own representation. “Our Father who art in Heaven” must be like … my father. So God became someone to fear. Someone to please. Someone whose whims could never really be anticipated but had to if you wanted to be safe. Someone who struck you when you were wrong – and you prayed for just the thunder and not the beating.
I do not doubt the fact that my actions had turned everyone’s lives upside down BUT that should never have invalidated my value as a human, my right to demand what I want, my right to privacy, my right to quiet, choice and the life I want for myself.
There is a feeling of liberation when you realize that something you have felt for a long time makes sense.
Why is it that, when at the crossroads of disappointing others or letting ourselves down, we choose the latter road so easily? When do we fall out of our own graces? What are the consequences?
It has become quite a habit these days that many use the word love as many times as possible trying to forge connection to an audience, they family, their friends. So many times we are tricked into thinking that love is these grand gestures, spending lots of money for a gift, recognition on social media, for others to see and like or envy, compromising until resent sets in. Nothing can be further from the truth.