When joy comes knocking, don’t lock your door – you might forget where you put the key. Stories from a recovering joy squanderer.

My ritual of tuning out joy started when I was very young, probably quite oblivious to what I was actually doing. Like a magic formula, I made myself shut the door in its face each time joy came knocking, foolishly believing that if I pretended I did not hear anyone at the door, the panic in its wake will disappear too.