Every day feels like a miracle sometimes. Considering the complete lack of energy and drive at 04:45 AM when my alarm rang yesterday, it is a miracle I made it through the day and even accomplished anything at all.
At 04:45 AM the world seems a drag, getting up and doing things seems so much more of a chore, with every step I feel like pulling a huge bag of heavy stones around. All I want to do at 04:45 AM is quit. Go back to bed, pull the covers over my head, keep the blinds drawn and call in sick. Everything seems overwhelming in the wee hours of the morning and, for the past week at least, my mind has gotten so good at inventing scenarios in which I call in sick and work later, around noon.
I quit tens of times a day and start over just as many. To consider, at 4 AM the length of the entire day, the chores I have to go through or even getting all the way to the evening is a burden I cannot bear. I can barely keep my eyes open.
So, instead, I focus on just the next breath; the next moment; the next step; the next thing to do. While getting to the end of the road, the simple act of thinking about it, fills me with fatigue, concentrating on only the next step, putting my energy, the little amount that’s awake at this point into simply making the next move is definitely doable.
We, humans, are like cars whose batteries need a bit of the engine running to get started. Before you know it, looking back, you realise you’re into your groove, half way down your workout or the day’s to do list and are actually enjoying yourself. Or that at least you are still awake.
A friend suggested a great sitcom: One Day At A Time. Easy, funny but thought provoking at the same time. In one of the episode, someone encourages the protagonist who is overwhelmed with all she has to do: “don’t quit before you get your miracle.” Don’t quit, just concentrate on the next step. Only on the next step.
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