Life’s best kept secrets: we are all imposters, selflessness is overrated and know when to move on. who knew?

There is so much advice out there about what a fulfilled life looks like! Find meaning, eat less / more, build a family, plant a tree, help others, take care of yourself etc. etc. etc. And it is not a bad thing that there are so many things out there – to me it is our collective humanity sharing its various successful recipes. And this can only be good, right?

The answer is yes!, it can be awesome, if we are able to receive the ideas as just what they are, ideas, pick what works for us and let go of the rest. How do we know what works for us? We silence the monkeyness of everyday life, we sit with ourselves and we listen to that inside voice that always knows. Easy peasy! Right? So not! :))

If we are honest with ourselves, finding fulfilment in life is a lifetime endeavour. If for nothing else, for the truth that we are different each day and our lives are different each day. I guess the lesson here is that we have to keep swimming. Thanks Dory!

And what kind of blogger would I be if I did not present a recipe that resonated with me. 🙂 In his article in the Guardian, Oliver Burkeman shares the eight secrets to a (fairly) fulfilled life. He had me at fairly because I have stopped believing in perfection and extremes (yes, yes, I used to and sometimes I am still after that, if full disclosure is called for … ). This actually landed in my inbox thanks to Neil Pasricha whose blog I subscribe to and who is responsible for sending me awesome thoughts every day. Thanks Neil!

The TLTR (too lazy to read) version is:

  1. There will always be too much to do – choose consciously what to neglect.
  2. When in doubt over a choice, ask yourself (and don’t lie to yourself answering): will this choice enlarge me or diminish me? (oh and I would add here Marie Forleo’s amazing advice to always, always listen to your body for it always knows).
  3. Be uncomfortable, anxious, afraid, but do it anyway – the capacity to tolerate minor discomfort is a superpower.
  4. The advice you don’t want to hear is usually the advice you need (heard this twice in a week – after listening to a podcast telling me how if you are only asking feedback from people you know like you and agree with you, you aren’t actually getting anywhere – so true and so irritating!)
  5. I LOVED this in the article: “it’s wrong to say we live in especially uncertain times. The future is always uncertain; it’s just that we’re currently very aware of it” – the future will never provide the reassurance you seek from it and a plan is ” only ever a present-moment statement of intent, not a lasso thrown around the future to bring it under control.” Wow!
  6. This one hit home like there’s no tomorrow: the solution to imposter syndrome is to see that you are one. Oh! My! God! The level of anxiety this phrase generated! Clearly, it’s spot on! “Humanity is divided into two: on the one hand, those who are improvising their way through life, patching solutions together and putting out fires as they go, but deluding themselves otherwise; and on the other, those doing exactly the same, except that they know it.”
  7. Selflessness is overrated. Wait! What?? “More often than not, by doing your thing – as opposed to what you think you ought to be doing – you kindle a fire that helps keep the rest of us warm.” Maaaan!
  8. Aaaaaand … (drum beat!) ….. Know when to move on. Mike drop!

PS. because … laughter is the best medicine, here’s a pill from our very amazing Kristina Kuzmic.

Photo by George Pagan III on Unsplash

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