When half a decade has passed from the moment I change the prefix of my age, I start to notice changes the me. It happened at 15, at 25, at 35 and it happens these days, in the latter half of my 45th year. I don’t understand why people fall in the trap of hiding their real age. I would not be 25 again if they paid me my weight in gold. 15? Neeehhh, are you kidding me? The confusion, the anxiety, the bullying … nooo.
It’s true, 45 comes with some pretty raw statements from our bodies (if we choose to be honest about it) but it also comes with a detachment from ourselves (better said, the self we thought we embodied) and what used to seem insurmountable. I look back on who I used to be and what I used to think and I am reminded that we live life in phases, that the best thing we can do for ourselves and our growth is to keep an open mind and (the phrase that pisses me off each time I hear it) we all do our best with what we have at a certain moment.
One of the best books I read in my 40s was Think Again by Adam Grant. It rekindled my love for Adam Grant that I had discovered the very first time I had listened to him talk about givers and takers. As I progress towards the fifth decade of my life, I realize that changing my mind about things may not be my greatest flaw but in fact a superpower. Allowing myself the possibility to re-think, to reconsider, has given me a freedom that I didn’t even know I was seeking.
A few samples from a lista that is always open:
I used to think that anyone who thinks or lives differently than I do is wrong.
but now I think
that seeking to see others in their difference, pausing to listen and trying to understand, striving not to judge opens an endless well of wisdom and connection.
I used to think always saying yes was what I needed to do to be worth anything
but now I think
that disappointing myself hurts more than dissapointing anyone else and that saying yes to something always means saying no to something else, therefore I should discern wisely.
I used to think I needed to stay away from everything that scared me and that striving to always be in control is the key to a peaceful life
but now I think
that something that scares me is pointing me towards the way to go; that if I don’t feel uncomfortable, I am not learning and that the key to a peaceful life is precisely letting go of “the way things should be.”
Connect 