Comfort had tricked me into believing that I was all set, that the changes I needed to still make in myself were small and surface adjacent, that going forward was simply a cruising … . And when truth showed me differently, I freaked out.
The ammunition that fed the war between my mind (aka ego) and my heart (aka soul) were the voices that live constantly in my bones.
When people around me ask what is next, I smile and I speak of a future that is exciting and free. But deep down I am very scared. Of nobody else but myself.
As soon as I remember that my fear is not a directive, just data, that it is a prerequisite to courage, I am prepared to take the leap – the only way to life affirming change.
The only point to life is love and growth. And what a privilege to be able to pursue these! I entered the partnership of marriage
Someone attacks me and because they are loud and play the victim, the advice for me is to just shut up, take it and turn the other way. Because I know better, because we don’t want to fight, because … because … because … . And my body cannot be fulled and for the past week she has been yelling, hell no!