Ask For What You Want

Asking for what I want, whether it is from my work teams, life partner, my original family, my friends or my son is so very hard. I would even say that the pain I derive from implying wants and having the others not get what I actually mean is easier to bear. Not fair on any of parties involved, but much, much easier to swallow.

The truth will set me free

If I had a broken leg, pink eye, COVID, the flu, a migraine … you name it … I would have said just that and not spend one second trying to concoct a plausible disguise. But somehow, there has been so much shame around me just saying I am am having a bout of anxiety and/or depression and need a mental health break, I cannot meet right now.

Can’t fight fire with fire

My intention is always that and I put my best foot forward. I do understand, at a conscious level, that each and every one of us is fighting a hard battle and that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, everyone is doing the very best they can, in the moment, with what they have. That is, when the fire in me does not sweep me off my feet like a tornado and carries me to a land far, far away, where I am barely recognisable, even to myself.


I have always waited for a knight in shining armor to rescue me … from me. As a young child and then a troubled teenager, living in a head full of dreams and a home riveted by trauma, there was always a crack of hope in the darkness within, letting a light I could not precisely distinguish trickle in.

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