I feel like I live in one of those silent movies from the past, you know, the ones where people are moving at very high speed on the screen. I wake up Monday morning at 5 AM and get dressed for the day and before I realize it, I am getting undressed in the same spot on Thursday evening and I can barely remember what Tuesday was all about.
Communication without emotion is dry and incomplete. Communication with too much emotion may miss the mark and not reach its purpose. It may push away. So how do we find the sweet spot?
These children push us to do things which have become so rare and hard these days: be present fully, engage, step out of our comfort zone, wait, be patient, infinitely patient and willing to change every day, sometimes every hour.
Once you enriched the conversation with what you observed from “the weeds”, you can come back to “the dance floor” and, many times, dance quite a different, maybe a slower, more mindful dance towards a solution.
Conflict stirs things up – and this is why it is good and bad, all at the same time. It is uncomfortable and it brings up lots of emotions and ideas that we may like better under the rug. At the same time, as Brene Brown says, if you are not uncomfortable, you’re not learning.
We are used to everyone talking at the very same time, louder and louder, trying to upstage each other in a race of our own making. When it is in fact the silence, the allowing of space and the real listening that will ever get us anywhere.