Connect

I can’t tell exactly why it is this time that I truly heard messages about the planet being ill. Maybe because I can feel it affecting me, maybe because I am getting old myself, maybe because I know what it is like to suffer from something unseen while everyone around you tells you to just get a grip or that there is nothing wrong. The only planet we will ever have has been depressed for a while now. With very few of us noticing.

The letter told me (as I am sure it told others too), that my experience did not match what they were looking for. Of course, I can’t contradict them, they know what they are looking for. It wasn’t the potential employers I was getting ready to stand up against. It was my dreaded inner critic.

I am intense and often emotions push me to react before I should. I knew it would be hard for me to allow for such a space, so I have been focusing on my ability to create it. And I made progress. I had been certain that the hardest thing for me to ever do is pause between stimulus and response. It never occured to me what a priviledge and ordeal it is to be in this space between.