Once you enriched the conversation with what you observed from “the weeds”, you can come back to “the dance floor” and, many times, dance quite a different, maybe a slower, more mindful dance towards a solution.
Conflict stirs things up – and this is why it is good and bad, all at the same time. It is uncomfortable and it brings up lots of emotions and ideas that we may like better under the rug. At the same time, as Brene Brown says, if you are not uncomfortable, you’re not learning.
We are used to everyone talking at the very same time, louder and louder, trying to upstage each other in a race of our own making. When it is in fact the silence, the allowing of space and the real listening that will ever get us anywhere.
Because a healthy self esteem is the perfect ground for lifelong learning, for failing forward, for agility and resilience in the face of change and adversity. In other words, exactly what being “future ready” means.
Battle by battle, we win the war – the war of standing up for ourselves, of building experience that will make the next battle easier, of understanding ourselves and what we can do – always more than we initially thought or the voices told us we can.
There is a chorus of voices that have been built up to continuously mumble, sing, bitch, yell or simply roll their eyes inside my head.