I have always viewed the ascension to leadership, management or board level as the move from a country road to the highway: now I get to actually do things, affect change, move from ideas into action. Now is the time to learn and better myself and, more importantly, make a difference!
When people around me ask what is next, I smile and I speak of a future that is exciting and free. But deep down I am very scared. Of nobody else but myself.
“You’re one to talk, you work in a multinational company and you have a really high salary! You are privileged!” I don’t know if it was my woman nature, my metastasized imposter syndrome or the surprise of the interaction that my first reaction to this was shame: “I do have such privilege!”
A while ago I had been green lighted for publication of an article in the an international education magazine but their publication schedule has changed
I have been offered the idea this week that I am going through an identity crisis. I panicked at first – Is this where I get botox, implants? A younger lover? Start wearing really shocking outfits? Oh, I am too old for this s..t . And then I remembered that what the gift of a crisis makes me is not pitiful but privileged
As soon as I remember that my fear is not a directive, just data, that it is a prerequisite to courage, I am prepared to take the leap – the only way to life affirming change.