The blessing of routine

Lady D(epression) works the room in style every time. Her presence is so imposing and her perfume so strong that she could never, ever remain unnoticed or blend in. When she walks in, all else is history. Good and cheerful days – forgotten. Enthusiasm and energy – long gone, history. Memories of recovery, achievements, back on track or fun – out the window (and the window is blurred so you can’t possibly peak outside to wave to the memories, lest your attention should solely fall on Lady D).

When Lady D walks in my room, routine is a blessing. She hates it and tries really hard to keep me from it, but routine is a saving grace. A morning ritual, a walking habit, drinking water and perhaps cleaning seem mundane and simple but the great power within us works in mysterious ways.  Vacations seem to be the loopholes Lady D finds to sneak in because the grace of routine withers.  I now know Lady D will be visiting at Christmas, New Year’s and Easter, October and February break and pretty much every weekend and so I have built new routines to help me put up with her presence: Jazz and I spend the wee hours of the morning walking together, I make the coffee and breakfast, I listen to something inspirational and when the Lady is too loud, I try at least one of these – usually Jazz will drag me on my feet.

I hear so many times that routine is boring and a rut but for me, so many times it has been a savior. Mostly because, in moments when my brain is busy tending to Lady D, my body recognizes the way of built routine, habitual activities and planned things to do. One way I trick Lady D is by planning routine purposefully – this way, she can be busy with my brain while I don’t have to make decisions which in her presence always seem insurmountable. She dwells in my mind and speaks to my brain and weighs heavily on my shoulders while my hands and feet move through the routine created ahead and little by little creates momentum for her departure.

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